Apple Pie

Apple Pie is a commentary on parenthood, family, social norms, gender roles, relationship issues. It’s sort of the opposite of a Playboy magazine while being a parody to the genre at the same time. Imagine beautiful photos of beautiful people in interesting places only to be cropped down to highlight the Adam’s apple. These photos are of course in the midst of engaging content from a number of articulate and witty contributors.

It’s a man’s perspective on women and vice versa.

It’s satirical yet sincere, hilarious yet heartfelt, serious and seriously shareable.

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My wife revealed to me shortly after we were married that while our first glance at one another wasn’t exactly love at first sight, she did take notice of me and a certain physical feature of mine. Now, most romantic stories I’m familiar with commonly highlight features like dark eyes, beautiful smile, dimpled cheeks or a chiseled jaw. These facial focal points have launched many a celebrity into sex-symbol status. Surely, she would have noticed something on the features-that-already-have-a-reputation-of-being-sexy list... No? Turns out, it was my neck that got noticed. Granted, I was performing a silly impromptu duet with a wooden flute (because that’s just what college kids do sometimes) and my larynx was bobbing up and down enough to get her attention. She noticed my Adam’s apple.

Just as an aside, the internet seems to have come to a consensus that the nickname ‘Adam’s apple’ for the laryngeal prominence in one’s neck has Biblical roots. The short, juvenile explanation is that the forbidden fruit that Adam ate got stuck in his throat causing a prominent lump. Was that just God’s way of reminding Adam of his transgression each time he saw his reflection? Why wouldn’t Eve have gotten the same kind of lump? After all, she ate of the fruit first. Thus, mortal man was born as was the very first lump in gender inequality.

An Adam’s apple is primarily a male characteristic just as women have many unique characteristics of their own. It is curious, and a well-documented fact, that women have been objectified for centuries due to their unique physical attributes, but the men not so much. I’ll submit this objectification has significantly contributed to the creation of industries that prey on the female psyche. Body image issues rock the esteem of female minds driving many to cut open their bodies in order to nip, tuck, and minimize or augment features to improve their looks. I can’t imagine if the tables were turned. What if I felt my Adam’s apple just didn’t seem large enough? Would I feel the need to wear turtlenecks everywhere? Or would I just be able to augment my apple to feel better about the way bowties fit around my neck? Would I be bothered as I spoke to women if their gaze subtly dropped from engaged eye contact to instead be fixed on my curvaceous neck? “UUh-HUMMM, excuse me, my eyes are up here! You little perverted minx. I should be able to wear an open collared shirt without people gawking at my Adam’s apple. Geez Louise, it’s 2018 for crying out loud.” The notion of an objectified Adam’s apple is silly, (as is the term Goozle, a colloquial term for the Adam’s apple in the American south) yet many things we humans do as individuals and families is silly. While ApplePie doesn’t attempt to eradicate silly from the world, we will look at it through various lenses and from different angles. If the silly we find proves to have merit to stay in our society, maybe we at least try to shine a light on it and celebrate. As we explore various aspects of life, ApplePie aims to entertain, explore ideas, inform, and grab our readers by the goozle. Ready, set, go. Enjoy your pie.